edge of sleep

"We can write down, and act upon, more of those accumulating resolutions for self improvement that we so often leave, unrecovered, at the edge of sleep."  -Neal A. Maxwell

There is so much that I want to do, learn, read, organize and experience.  Sunday I decided (for the 1,000,000 time) I was going to rise early this week (month....year) and begin my day.  I was motivated by books, goals and a desire for greater order in my life.  Yet, when my head hits the pillow at 12 or 1, instead of the 10 p.m. I had planned, I choose not to set the alarm.  Instead, I wake up with the sun...and my day begins.  I am studying the New Testament right now, and this message from Neal A. Maxwell was referenced (I love Citation Index from BYU).   So here it goes (the 1,000,001 time) I am setting my alarm tonight.   

a family that plays together...

We have made WONDERFUL changes to family life this year!!!  

Inspired by THIS...we have decided to start this new money/chore system!

We have simplified the checklists we had been doing...

and now their are four boxes a day!

They are able to earn $1-for every year they are old-every week.

If they miss one check they only get half...

and if they miss more than one they get nothing.

They can make up one check by memorizing a poem.

(That reminds me of THIS which I was absolutely love.)

The girls will be responsible for purchasing personal wants...and 1/2 of their clothes

(for each item they choose to purchase they will have to pay for half of each item)

These changes have been good for all of us...

(THE GIRLS HAVE BEEN MAKING THEIR BEDS WITHOUT BEING REMINDED!!!!)

BUT the VERY best part of it---

are family fun Saturdays.

We work hard all week and we NOW play together on Saturdays!

This was the first Saturday play day....

We decided to go to the Leonardo Museum!

We all ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!

We did visit the temporary exhibit---DaVinci...

but their very favorite part was the art area just as you enter the museum.

There was a man presenting that hand makes violins.

It was fascinating to learn from him and the girls were able to bend wood just like is done in violin making.  We can't wait to go back!!!

gratitude

If there was anything I was going to avoid this year while choosing my resolutions---it was journal writing.  If there is one thing that is my achilles heel it would be that.  I began pondering what I wanted new, in the new year, on New Years Day.  Danny and I began the day with a new $ plan (I will blog about this later...we are really excited about it!) we have been hoping to do for our girls for a couple of years.  Several months ago we decided 2013 was the year---and so we procrastinated to the last minute!

I was excited about the new plan for our girls and thought of several things that I could do that would compliment and support our new system.  With out writing anything down yet, I had a few things in mind...hoping to keep it simple and something I would remember.  (I had no idea what my 2012 resolutions were...and that isn't a very good sign that I was successful.)

The next couple of days I pondered.  I read my friend Misty's blog post about her resolutions and I was impressed with her attempt at finding one word that sum up the changes she hoped for in 2013.  What impressed me more was her decision to turn to prayer to determine what would be best for her.  I hadn't considered that once.  I decided I would try both of these things, so I held off my writing and continued pondering.

Yesterday as I was cleaning + cooking in my kitchen I decided to listen to a podcast.  I was drawn to this speech (it's title really, I had never heard it before):  A Grateful Heart by Ray L. Huntington.  One of the first ideas he discussed was a gratitude journal.  The study followed three groups that were randomly selected: those writing 5 things they were grateful for each week, those writing five hassels or problems they faced in the week, and the final group wasn't given any specifics either way.

The findings were, in his words, "impressive."  The group that kept gratitude journals over the ten weeks reported feeling: "better about their lives and were more optimistic about the future than people in the other two groups. The gratitude group also reported fewer health concerns, like headaches, and spent significantly more time exercising than people in the other two groups. According to the scale Dr. Emmons used to calculate well-being, the people in the gratitude group were a full 25% happier than the participants in the hassles or neutral groups.  In subsequent studies Dr. Emmons also reported that people who regularly kept a gratitude journal and were in the habit of recognizing and expressing gratitude for their blessings reported feeling closer and more connected to people, had better relationships, were more likely to help others, felt less lonely, felt less depressed, slept better, and were more pleasant to be around."

So, although my only sure thought, going into choosing my resolutions, was that I did NOT want to have anything to do with writing in a journal...that is exactly what my resolutions WILL center around...recognizing and writing down those things of which I am grateful.  My resolutions for 2013 will center around gratitude and ways that I can support this change.

grateful for my resources:  $, home, food, clothing, cars, technology, etc...  In order to center on gratitude for  my resources I will be a better steward over what has been give to us.  I will be making purchases based on need vs. want.  I will do that by eliminating impulse shopping (which means you will not see me browsing the isles of Target, studying the clearance racks at JCrew or entering into Anthropologie at all!)  We currently only have debt on our home and our rental property...but how nice would it be not to have that!  Memories doing activities and vacations are so much greater than filling all of the closets and bookshelves in our house!  (Living in a paid off house would be pretty great too!) To accomplish this I will make purchases only after I have written them down and considered them as a need.  This is BIG!  I am excited to do this!  (Danny will be even more excited when I tell him!) *much of the inspiration for this resolution came from the annual "new year's resolution phone conversation I had with my sister Annie*

grateful for my family:  Growing up I remember Saturdays being a chore day.  My mom often worked in the week so it was the best day she had to get things done!  I have carried it on in our family---and it is time for a change.  The girls have charts and responsibilities M-F and Saturday will be a day off.  Saturday = family day.  We will work on hobbies at home, go on outings outside, bike ride, explore, hike, visit museums and play at parks!  We hope to eat breakfast, make our beds and then after getting dressed head out for the day!  I AM SOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!

My gratitude as a wife and mother can improve greatly by watching my tone of voice (I read this here and thought it was something that would be great for me too), my choice of words and the expressions on my face.  Sophie asked me today, "Why do you only smile when we are playing a game (an imagination role playing game)?"  I am sure I do smile more than that...and I am generally very content and happy at home...BUT I am OBVIOUSLY a little too serious and need some lightening up!  I want to be careful about the influence and mood I create for my family.  I want them to know how much I LOVE and ADORE them and how grateful I am to be part of this little family of mine.

grateful for my mind:  I have a goal to read every.single.solitary.day in 2013!

grateful for music:  I will play/practice guitar or piano for myself each day (M-F)  I do love the feeling I have as I play, as limited as my abilities are.  My girls also sooo much better at their own practices when they have heard me playing my own instruments.

grateful for my body:  I will do some kind of exercise every day.  This could be yoga, walking, hiking, stretching, sit ups....SOMETHING!

To track my goal I have already began using Good Habits by Good To Hear that I initially found on 71 toes).  It will be a way for me to keep my goal in my mind and focus every day instead of once a year!  My past resolutions few year's resolutions are here:  http://peoniesinmygarden.blogspot.com/search/label/resolutions

Mr. Huntington quoted President Thomas S. Monson, "Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings.  Said one well-known author: 'Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.'”

resolve

It's never good, when you have reached the end of the year and can't recall any of your resolutions from the first of the year.  Well, I did add music to our home...improvement in the other areas was very slight.  I hope for a better resolve this year!  I love the newness of a brand new year.  Danny and I had an impromptu talk on the couch on January 1st.  We are excited about our resolutions!

We are going to take greater care of our bodies!  One of favorite friends is Effie Nielsen.  When we were neighbors, Effie had competed and won a weightlifting championship.  See here and here.  She was encouraged to compete by her great-grandson and his coach.  At the time Effie was 90.  (She will be 100 this May.)  I was talking with her in her front yard quite a few years ago.  We were talking about her garden.  She mentioned all of the rhubarb she needed to harvest.  I asked what she did with it besides the obvious pie choice.  "I make rhubarb juice" she said.  "Rhubarb juice???  Does that taste good?"  I responded.  "I don't live to eat, " she replied sweetly,  "I eat to live."  We hope to follow Effie's way of life.  We are going to think more about "eating to live" instead of what we "live to eat."  There wont be any family strict codes...just an effort to do better with a stronger focus on our health.

We will also be outside more (breathing fresh air and working our bodies)!  I have a propensity to hibernate in the winter.  It is not good for my body or my mind.  We started Monday.  We woke up, enjoyed a quick breakfast and headed out the door.  We even found a few friends who wanted to join us on our way.  There will be more walking, hiking, yoga, pilates and even running this year.

We are going to "show up" this year.  Last week we were all gathered at Grandma's viewing.  It had been a slow evening.  It was cold outside.  It was feeling too quiet...even with family surrounding us.  I looked toward the door and in walked one of our most favorite families.  Danny's friend Kenny walked in with his wife Heather and their four children.  They were dressed up in their Sunday best and brightened our entire evening.  I don't think Kenny had seen Grandma since our wedding, yet he showed up.  They are dear friends and taught us a great lesson.  Show up for people.  When we are there for people---weddings, funerals, babies, surgeries, graduations, birthdays...they feel loved.  We can definitely do a better job in this category.

So yesterday when Danny's mom called and needed help in her yard---we showed up.  We were outside in the fresh air, working with happy hearts.  Thank you Parcell family for your good examples.

"Certain qualities, talents, and works which distinguish a man are more readily appreciated when one knows from what nationality he has sprung..."  The Life and Times of Asher B. Durand p. 3

I remember standing by a bus in Argentina when a man asked me, "De donde es?"  He wanted to know more than where I was currently living, and more than my country of origin...he wanted to know my nationality.  That really isn't an easy question...I have lines from many different countries---France, England, Germany, and more...  Needless to say, he wasn't satisfied with my vague answer.

Although there is too much variety to identify with any one country besides the country in which I currently live, I believe there is a great benefit knowing where we come from.  Instead of focusing on places we will focus this year on people that have come before us.  Danny and I brainstormed a plan to create "book of remembrances" like those my parents had when I grew up.  They were covered in hardback leather with strong metal posts.  We are going to craft new books from antique photo albums.  (Thank you Papa!)  We will add pages:  fill it with lined sheets, pictures and family trees.  There will be a section of all four lines of my girls genealogy.  It will be a special place for them to note and write what is important to them of what they have learned.  We can't wait.

I am also going to read a few books to help me learn more:   The Life and Times of Asher B. Durand (a great, great, great uncle) and a few books on the Mayflower (to learn more of the Brewster and Standish family lines from which we are a part).

We are sticking with three areas and keeping them more general rather than strict.  We hope that our small efforts bring wonderful experiences!   Here's to a new year...and a wonderful start we enjoyed today!!!!!!!!
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!

a neglected squarefoot garden

General Conference weekends are two of my favorite weekends of the year.  I have been thinking about it with anticipation for a few weeks.  My prayers were focused these past few weeks in preparation...hoping that I would be open to listening spiritually what I need most in my life.  Saturday morning as soon as I woke up I put on some gardening clothes and headed outside.  My earphones were ready to carry the message to me as I worked.  My flower and garden beds need some preparation for the winter that is coming.

Before the conference talks began I took a large leaf bag to our square foot garden.  Our garden has been a bit disappointing this year.  I felt like the production was weak and we really didn't look after it much.  There were greens planted that I never once harvested.  I started with the swiss chard.  I cut it down and realized it was still in great shape---so I quite happily put it into the colander instead of the leaf bag.  Next to the chard were some other greens.  I thought it was the same...but a red variety.  I observed the weakness of the leaves and determined it wasn't worth saving.  Instead of cutting I pulled it up...root and all and I discovered that they were beets!  (Do you know how much I LOVE beets!)  I was thrilled and didn't have the slightest memory of planting those seeds.  As I pulled each root up and placed it in the colander I realized how negligent I have been.  There were volunteer tomato plants (the tomato plants I had actually planted did much better) all over the garden beds.  They never produced much but they crowded out what I had intended to grow (zucchini, jalapenos, squash, etc...).  After I finished harvesting the beets I pulled out all of the volunteer tomato plants, that without cages were spreading wide and covering too much of the soil.  It felt good to take the time to care for this little plot of ground. 

As I worked through the morning with words of the prophets and apostles in my ears, I realized that this is what I love about conference.  There are so many good things I have in my life to focus time and attention on...yet are the goods things (volunteer tomato plants), that are not the better things (beets) I intend to harvest in my life, taking over?  Having too many good things without caring for what I really need and intend to have grow, can create a busy yet unproductive life.  Yep, my life has been a lot like my garden.  General conference helps me to evaluate where I am (my heart, thoughts and time) and where I really want to be.  I receive quiet whispering to my soul as I listen.  This conference I tried to write down the quiet whisperings of what I should change or do. These are a few:

Elder David Bednar- help the girls make their own family history books, making sure to give them room to learn and put it together themselves with out too much help.  I also need to edit and organize images for my own family histories (starting with the family reunion we enjoyed this summer).

Elder Neal L. Anderson- contemplate the blessings of being a mother.  Study the definition of "replenish."  We are commanded (from the time of Adam and Eve) to "multiply and replenish the earth."  The "multiply" part is complete for us now...yet what does it mean for my life to "replenish?"  

Elder Robert D. Hales- read and study Jesus The Christ by James E. Talmage.  I had the same impression as I listened to Sister Barbara Thompson in the General Relief Society Meeting.

Elder Ian S. Ardern- write down my goals...prioritize and strive toward reaching them.  Manage my time as a precious commodity, because it is oh so precious.  Remember that being busy does not mean that I am productive. 

Elder Carl B. Cook- Print this scripture and display it in our home:  "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend."  Book of Mormon; Mosiah 4:9

Elder Richard G. Scott- Seek study and learning of the words of God through scripture.  Although I am currently reading from the New Testament, add the Book of Mormon to my reading everyday.  I have read it many times...but it is life changing when read every single day without fail. 

I know these are different for everybody because we are all different and unique.  And really, what I took from the talks may not have had anything to do with what they actually said.  Saturday morning after I finished with the vegetable garden beds I went to the front to give some attention to the lavender that borders a walkway to my front door.  It has grown and grown.  Danny and I decided to give it a 12" trim.  We cut the branches down (to almost nothing) in hopes of pruning it for the better and prettier border next spring.  That's what I hope to do with what I have learned at conference---prune back the unnecessary and focus on the very best...down to the roots of what is right for me and my little family.   Overall the feeling that was most overwhelming in each talk I heard---was that our Father in Heaven loves me and He loves everyone of His children that lives, ever has lived and ever will live.  What he wants most is that we love Him in return by seeking him and loving all of His children.

photos from 09.07.10 (left) and 07.29.11 (right)

a new year

Next to Halloween, New Years Eve is my least favorite holiday.  I have to say that ringing in 2011 was my favorite New Years to date!!  Danny and I traveled to NYC for a few days.  We were there for Rob & Whitney's wedding.  What a fun city to enjoy the holiday!  We stayed away from Time Square and rang in the new year on the Brooklyn Bridge!  I LOVED IT!  The weather was comfortable, the people- enthusiastic, and the sights spectacular! 

Although the holiday itself isn't usually my favorite...I do love the new year and new goals!

My 2011 I hope will be the best yet!  My new resolutions:

family meal time:  

We are pretty good at this but I can do better!  I am going to plan weekly menus again.  This was so fun for me before...so I am going to try again.  I will try to post them here too!   I hope to utilize a few of the cookbooks I love to collect and try one new recipe a week!

for health and $:  

Eat out no more than once a week....this includes breakfast, lunch and dinner.

early to bed:
early to bed (10 p.m.) early to rise (5:00 a.m.)
This is completely against my nature...but I know of it's usefulness!
I am going to try...REALLY REALLY HARD!


music:  

I love music...but especially the homegrown variety!  I am going to start guitar lessons again (my first lesson is Monday!) and I couldn't be more excited about my new guitar teacher!!!!!!!  I also want to learn to sing harmony/alto.  This is a weakness for me.  My vocal range is more comfortable as an alto but I only hear the melody.  My mom is really good at it.  She told me she learned in the church choir.  That's where I am headed this year---church choir, alto section!  Wish me (or them) luck!

journal:  

Do you know that Danny writes in his journal every night?  With out fail.  Even on vacation.  There is something wonderful about slowing down and writing in a journal.  I am dedicated.  I am going to do it.  Every night.  With out fail.  Even on vacation.  (gulp...that was hard to type)

i love you rituals:  

I love this book.  Have you read it?  As humans we need physical contact.  I will give my girls foot rubs on the couch as we chat and read.  I will give Danny more back rubs.   I have small hands...and I am not very strong...but it is nice and the scales have been tipped in my favor for too long.  :)   Taking time to sit and talk and give time to those I love~  It is nice.

That's it!  Those are my goals! 

Thanks Rob, Whitney, Tyler, John and Blakely! 

Danny and I couldn't have enjoyed a more delightful New Years anywhere!
We will always remember the walk on the bridge with wonderful people!

A few more pictures: