lights poured out the windows

Danny and I jumped in the car one evening this past week.  We were welcoming home a friend who had been away on a mission.  We knew we wouldn't be long.  Dinner was almost ready.  Each of the girls had an instruction...one was practicing music...another finishing dinner and another setting the table.  Nothing is perfect around our house but as we pulled out of the driveway, the sun was down and the lights from our home poured out of the windows.  Our daughters were inside- being crazy, silly, distracted but also really really really good.  Their goodness fills our home.  We both reflected on what it would have been like had we not had the privilege of being their parents.  They truly bring us so much joy.  Life isn't easy...and far from perfect.  We have challenges and trials...hard days but really really good days too.  We are grateful that we get to grow, work, try, fail, and triumph together.

A couple of Saturdays ago...the weather was GORGEOUS and fall was in the air.  I had a new lens to play with (the 50mm 1.2) and about 1 hour to spare (before we had to leave for the football game).  I asked the girls if I could take their pictures- we put outfits together in about 10 minutes.  As we were about to leave Danny was finishing up a day of working in the yard.  We grabbed a shirt for him and decided to all go to a hillside in our neighborhood.  This photo shoot was the most PAINLESS attempt at family photos- completely unplanned, I didn't even change, I didn't buy one article of clothing- and I don't think Danny had even showered.   As we got there we realized that my mother in law had just come for the game---so she even took some of all five of us.  They were the least planned and organized photos we have taken-but may be my very favorites.

someday they might want to know why...

I sat through 3 music lessons this week and we were not prepared.  The teachers were great and retaught much of what they taught them the previous week.  There was no guilt and I didn't recognize any frustration from their instructors, but I knew that we could do so much better.   Sophie smiled and giggled through the whole lesson- of the three she was the most prepared.  Kate and Ellie both approached their lessons with confidence and really were completely unphased by the mistakes they were making.  I take notes at their lessons and make sure they get there every week.  Combined there should be approximately 2.5 hours a day of practice between the three of them every day.  If I am not sitting there not much gets done.  They breeze through their practice checklists like I speed through the grocery store, never even glancing at my list.  BUT if I do sit with all three of them...starting right after school...I would be helping with practice until 6:30 every night.  

Frequently I wonder why I even do this.  Why do I spend a hefty amount of money (the amount of a decent car payment!) every month toward music lessons?  Why have I encouraged all three of my girls to pick an instrument to learn...when it requires this much time and effort...not just from them but from me.

Then I get glimpses of what makes it all worth it...

like Sophie strumming and singing her heart out...as she and I played  The Best Day by American Authors.  (She was pretty happy with herself!)  Or the opportunity Kate has to attend a cello festival at a nearby University this weekend---where she will be surrounded by people who have worked so hard to be masters in their skill.  That influence is beneficial regardless of what she decides to do in her life.  Or when Ellie spent at least a half an hour telling me about recent junior high adventures that she wouldn't have told me had I not been by her side for an hour of practice.  (They will talk and talk and talk and talk to delay sight reading exercises.)

I can't do it every day---but I have made an increased effort this week.  Not only has their music improved...but our needing each other has made being a family that much greater.

Swing!

halloween 2013

 

a favorite spot in the world: our backyard

a letter for Mother's day

To our daughters,

What I hope you know and always remember:

• my heart overflows with love for you
• when I tell dad about my favorite moments with you---a smile spreads over his face and he says "they're so cute"
• we wouldn't change one.single.solitary.thing about you
• the Mother's day gifts I received are special to me---but nothing makes me happier than the notes and card you have given me all week
• treasures you make with your hands are worth more than diamonds to me
• being cuddled on the couch, reading a book together---the five of us, is like heaven on earth to me
• you are each unique and special in your own ways and we love that you are so different from each other
• when you all want to sit beside me at the very same time---and I have two on each side and Sophie on my lap---I feel like I am doing something right as a mom
• I absolutely LOVE being your mother

How did I get SO lucky!?

xoxo

Mom

Sophie,

On Friday as I was doing your hair for school you mentioned that it was "mom show and tell" that day.  You weren't sure of any details and I had never heard anything about it from your teacher...so it went in one ear and out the other (does that ever happen to you?).  When I arrived at the school to pick you up at the end of your school day---tears were streaming down your face.  "You didn't come" was all that I could understand of the words you tried to get out through your sobs.  I was heart sick.  At the end of the school day your teacher invited the moms to come so that they could be your show and tell that day.    (How did I not get this invitation from your teacher?)  You wanted me there...and had I known that you were watching the door, waiting for me to come through, I would have been there.  I felt so sorry for not listening to you.  Thank you for wanting me there...and for telling me the "special thing about your mom" that you wanted to share with the class as we sat on the couch together after school.  (I am glad you like my chocolate chip cookies.)  Thank you for forgiving me...I love you with all my heart!

Mom

The important thing about mom is she's kind

she's pretty,

comforting,

and quiet,

She takes care of me,

she loves me,

she helps me play cello,

she gives me fun activities,

she teaches me things I need to know,

she's neat and orderly.

But the important thing about mom is she's kind.

From,

Kate

Sweet Kate---thank you for writing this poem for me.  I loved the hearts that you drew next to your poem.  I hope I can live up to these nice things you have said about me.  I know all of those nice things remind me of you- pretty, comforting, quiet, full of love and fun...and most of all kind!  I love you sweetheart

Dear Ellie,

Thank you for the sweet cards you wrote me...and for your enthusiasm for showering me with gifts on mother's day morning.  You were so excited and it brightened my day!  You make being a mom easy!  You are so good to me---helpful, hardworking and full of love.  You were the very first to make me a mom over 11 years ago!  I love you!

xo

flying kites for Conference

There is a General Conference held twice a year for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.  They really are two of my favorite weekends of the year.  The messages from church leaders are like food for the soul to me.  And having the opportunity to attend church anywhere that the radio/internet can be found is an added bonus!

We decided to enjoy conference at Antelope Island.  It is one of my favorite locations in this beautiful state.  And it is within an hour of our home!  It really has an oceanic feeling to me---even though this salty water is not crashing on the shore.  In fact it is quite stagnate and filled with brine shrimp. 

One of the lessons that stood out strongest for me amidst the flood of wisdom from the conference was regarding the gift of childhood.  

 A young father recently learned of the passing of his extraordinary second-grade teacher. In memory of her, he wrote: “Of all the feelings and experiences I remember, the feeling most prevalent in my mind is ‘comfort.’ She may have taught me spelling, grammar, and math, but far more importantly she taught me to love being a child. In her classroom, it was OK to spell a word wrong here and there; ‘We’ll work on it,’ she’d say. It was OK to spill or tear or smudge; ‘We’ll fix it and we’ll clean it up,’ she would respond. It was OK to try, OK to stretch, OK to dream, and OK to enjoy those pleasures that come from the insignificant things that only children find exciting.”

One of the greatest influences a person can have in this world is to influence a child. Children’s beliefs and self-worth are shaped early in their lives. Everyone within the sound of my voice has the power to increase a child’s confidence in himself or herself and to increase a child’s faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ through the words they speak.  The Words We Speak by Rosemary M. Wixom

Sometimes I feel like it is my job to notice and address wherever we (my family and I) are falling short- as if that is helpful, encouraging or inspiring.  The lines of what is important and worth correcting are sometimes blurred for me.  I am sorry to say---after listening to this wonderful talk---I realized that I spend too much time, worry and concern over made beds, homework and music practice.  I also went away feeling like I want to improve on encouraging words, more time at the foot of our daughters beds-tucking them in at night and more evening walks as a family holding Danny's hand.  If I take the lead on being helpful and encouraging instead of turning mistakes into teaching moments the love will increase in our home...and in our hearts.

I love what Elder Holland shared in the same meeting-

  So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work. As one gifted writer has suggested, when the infinite fulness is poured forth, it is not the oil’s fault if there is some loss because finite vessels can’t quite contain it all. Those finite vessels include you and me, so be patient and kind and forgiving. Lord I Believe by Elder Jeffrey R Holland

It is important to be kind and gentle to our loved ones, friends and neighbors...but also to ourselves-focusing on the goodness in ourselves and others; spend time together enjoying one another's company...without agenda or judgement.  

This particular Sunday we enjoyed Antelope Island.  We had sunshine on our backs and joyful children at our feet.  I noticed the neglected kites we own, stacked in a corner of the garage, and decided to throw them in the trunk before we left.  The girls were thrilled to carry them out to the sandy beach.  The wind was gentle and I wasn't sure that they would fly that day.  Their enthusiasm was contagious and we began assembling.  We discussed string length and wind direction.  We held the kite in the air as they took off running into the lazy breeze.  As they ran the kite lifted!  They ran and ran and ran and ran.  As the kites soared and their smiles grew my soul was fed once again.  It was just one more reminder of the gift it is to know and love a child- filled with joy, easy to love and beautiful people to emulate.

other Conference thoughts here and here.

fallen leaves

sun warming our faces
fragrance of fallen leaves
my girls turning a chore into a game...

i am so glad i hesitated my first response
("NO", "we're in a hurry", "just get it done")
and replaced it with "YES!"
Ellie created that whole pile with her rake!
when they were ready for jumping they even grabbed my camera!
i am so much better off when i stop and listen to them.

Hallow-E'en

left: trunk o' treat on 10/30 right: trick o' treating 10/31

"Why do you wait at your door, woman, Alone in the night?" "I am waiting for one who will come, stranger, To show him a light. He will see me afar on the road And be glad at the sight." "Have you no fear in your heart, woman, To stand there alone? There is comfort for you and kindly content Beside the hearthstone." But she answered, "No rest can I have Till I welcome my own." "Is it far he must travel to-night, This man of your heart?" "Strange lands that I know not and pitiless seas Have kept us apart, And he travels this night to his home Without guide, without chart." "And has he companions to cheer him?" "Aye, many," she said. "The candles are lighted, the hearthstones are swept, The fires glow red. We shall welcome them out of the night— Our home-coming dead."

by Winifred M. Letts

summer peaches

There are so many things we love about summer...

afternoons at the pool, planting a garden, time outside, lazy mornings, swimming lessons, road trips, camping, family gatherings, sunshine...I could go on forever.

One of our last summer activities every year is harvesting the peaches from our little peach tree.

The girls love watching them grow throughout the season and are now SO good about leaving them on the tree until they are ready.  At the very end of the summer season (they had already been in school for a few weeks) we spent the evening outside and picked our peaches.

The summers go by as quickly as these girls are growing up.

Their ages are so much fun.
Some days I wish that I could make time stand still.