not looking for applause

"If your intentions are to impress people or to get the big applause at the end then you are taking, not giving." -Teitur 

(found here)

To remember to share myself with the intent to give, letting go of what I will receive...that is true magic.  I have been a guitar student off and on (much more off that on unfortunately) for almost 20 years.  When I watched this TedTalk yesterday, my mind went, although this is true for almost any aspect of learning and interest, straight to guitar performances.  I only performed for my family, teachers and recitals.  I immediately felt a difference when other people were in the room (especially teachers and recitals).  My fingers fumbled, my voice weakened and quivered.  That was a large reason that I gave up learning with a teacher.  How limiting to allow a misguided motive change the direction of an opportunity to grow. 

Yesterday in Ellie's guitar lesson I saw the same struggle in her, although to a lesser degree.  I decided that I would make a better effort to play with her as she practices.  We had our first session yesterday. I held her back in a few ways, but in more important ways, we kept each other with a focus of sharing and giving.  Our minds didn't go near any intention to impress.  There was joy in learning for me, and truly if I can focus on a motive to give in all aspects of my life- the work in practice will be so much sweeter.

Winter Concert

UTAH YOUTH ORCHESTRAS & ENSEMBLES

Winter Concert 2015

G.F. Handel (1685-1759)   A Handel Celebration  Arr. by Merle J. Isaac

I.  March from "Scipio"

II.  Rigaudon from "Almira"

IV.  Ritornello from "Almira"

W.A. Mozart (1756-1791)  The Marriage of Figaro Overture  Arr. by Merle J. Isaac

Georges Bizet (1838-1875)  Carmen (A Suite For Orchestra in 4 movements)  Arr. by Jack Bullock

John Williams (b. 1932)  The Empire Strikes Back Medley  Arr. by John C. Whitney

someday they might want to know why...

I sat through 3 music lessons this week and we were not prepared.  The teachers were great and retaught much of what they taught them the previous week.  There was no guilt and I didn't recognize any frustration from their instructors, but I knew that we could do so much better.   Sophie smiled and giggled through the whole lesson- of the three she was the most prepared.  Kate and Ellie both approached their lessons with confidence and really were completely unphased by the mistakes they were making.  I take notes at their lessons and make sure they get there every week.  Combined there should be approximately 2.5 hours a day of practice between the three of them every day.  If I am not sitting there not much gets done.  They breeze through their practice checklists like I speed through the grocery store, never even glancing at my list.  BUT if I do sit with all three of them...starting right after school...I would be helping with practice until 6:30 every night.  

Frequently I wonder why I even do this.  Why do I spend a hefty amount of money (the amount of a decent car payment!) every month toward music lessons?  Why have I encouraged all three of my girls to pick an instrument to learn...when it requires this much time and effort...not just from them but from me.

Then I get glimpses of what makes it all worth it...

like Sophie strumming and singing her heart out...as she and I played  The Best Day by American Authors.  (She was pretty happy with herself!)  Or the opportunity Kate has to attend a cello festival at a nearby University this weekend---where she will be surrounded by people who have worked so hard to be masters in their skill.  That influence is beneficial regardless of what she decides to do in her life.  Or when Ellie spent at least a half an hour telling me about recent junior high adventures that she wouldn't have told me had I not been by her side for an hour of practice.  (They will talk and talk and talk and talk to delay sight reading exercises.)

I can't do it every day---but I have made an increased effort this week.  Not only has their music improved...but our needing each other has made being a family that much greater.

a glimpse of our day...

I was sitting with Ellie as she waited for her ride to swim team.

She had a few minutes so she picked up her guitar.

sounds of family life

Some of my very favorite days are spent at home...
catching up on laundry...
wiping down counters...
organizing the calendar...

and enjoying the sounds of family life.

Ellie was waiting for her ride.  She decided to pick up her guitar.  I just sat and listened and enjoyed every minute of it.

Overture of 1812

Tchaikovsky 1812 Overture @ Deer Valley

The cool mountain air, breathtaking vistas, energetic spectators, cuddled on our blanket eating a picnic dinner~
created an ideal atmosphere to enjoy the delightful Utah Symphony.

The concert was wonderful....

a highlight of our month...

A perfect summer night.

p.s.  Sorry Mr. Tchaikovsky.  Ellie informed me that the cannons were your least favorite portion of this overture...but we thought they were pretty great!

to bass or not to bass

(an illustration Ellie drew in the midst of deciding which instrument to play- flute or bass)

Ellie and I began talking about instruments several months ago.  It wasn't the first time it had come up.  She wants (really...lets be honest...I want and she agreed) to participate in a group music opportunity while in junior high and high school.  She also wanted an instrument that would be a good compliment to play with her sisters (violin + cello).  There aren't many options for acoustic guitar in those settings.  We have asked every music teacher we know, friends, kids in orchestra/band...and we have received wonderful suggestions-

• bass guitar (jazz band)
• marimba
• flute
• viola
• saxophone

Where the idea of double-upright-bass came from...Ellie saw it played @ a Lower Light's concert.  The upright bass wore a hat at that concert.  She LOVED it!  She wanted to play it.

At first I was excited for her.
We interviewed a few teachers...I loved them!
Then reality began setting in:  $, the size (it is a BIG instrument and Ellie is NOT big), carrying it around, etc...
Talking with a musician I greatly respect---she cautioned me---the music written for upright bass in orchestra is very simple and in her opinion boring.  She worried she wouldn't like it.
Again flute and viola were suggested.

Viola, for Ellie was out of the question (too close to violin).  We decided to look into flute.  My good friend Heather has wonderful taste in music teachers (we share a few of them!) so I asked her about her daughter's flute teacher...who they LOVE.   We went to her house.  She was WONDERFUL.  We LOVED her teaching style.  Ellie knew she would like her---but we both knew, as we walked away from the lesson we observed, that the flute is not Ellie's instrument.  I asked her to write down a pro/con list for bass/flute (she illustrated it...see above)---

• She likes the size of flute (I do too!).  
• She liked the flute teacher!  (I loved her!)
• But she also really likes the bass teacher she had chosen.  (I do too!)  
• She loves the uniqueness of the bass.  (She doesn't know anyone who plays the upright bass and that appeals to her.)
• She loves the rhythmic side of music

I emailed my concerns to the prospective bass teacher explaining what we hoped to accomplish by adding another instrument to Ellie's learning (she is continuing with guitar as well).  His response to my concerns (boring, big, $) changed my perspective-

"The bass section is the foundation of the harmonic and rhythmic structure of the string orchestra.  And to a violinist, playing long tones for 60%+ of ones existence can be quite boring...to a violinist.  One of the things I instill in my students is without the bass, the orchestra would sound thin and empty.  Listen to any classical music and you'll hear the beautiful melodies in the upper strings, but you will feel the bass,  in a deeper, almost metaphysical way.  It's very interesting when I demonstrate in seminars how important the bass is, by taking them out of recordings.  The orchestra is lessened by the loss of presence with the bass.  Some of the most difficult orchestral passages ever composed are for the double bass.  That's why many universities around the world give hefty scholarships to good bassists.  For every 1 excellent bassist, there are 50+ violinists.  Bass is vital. We are a rare breed.

"Also, bass is the only orchestral instrument (also adding the bass guitar, same strings etc) that can play in ANY musical situation.  Jazz, bluegrass, rock , folk, you name it...they all need a bass.

"Another aspect of the bass is it's a fantastic (and under-estimated) solo instrument."

...but what he said at then end wouldn't leave my mind,

"I think the MOST important thing is Ellie needs to really decide what she wants to do.  If she REALLY wants to play the bass, in her heart, but isn't sure about the physical aspects of being a bassist, give her time. And I'm always willing to help. One thing I hear from so many 'ex-musicians' is: 'I wish I'd never quit playing my [insert instrument here].'  Regret.   I'd hate for Ellie to be a trumpet player trapped in a bassists body, if you get my drift."

She has worked hard, sold different things around the house, completed extra chores, saved...and we bought her double-upright-bass this week.  Lessons start next month...and I couldn't be more sure that she is a bassist trapped in a bassists body---a wonderful combination.  

She will love it! (And I will too!)

ISSI- year one

Intermountain Suzuki String Institute

It was our first year attending...and I hope we go back every year!

There were instructors and students from all over the country and even outside the country (I heard Argentina, Singapore, and Australia mentioned).  It made my 30 minute drive seem like a piece of cake!

Kate and I were able to attend Monday through Friday most of the day and we learned SO much.  (Ellie and Sophie aren't learning music in a traditional Suzuki approach.)  Our friends Jenna and Heather carpooled with us.  Fortunately, Jenna and Kate had most of their classes together!  It was so nice to have friends with us through out the day!

Kate's classes included:

cello repertoire  (Rodney Farrar)

cello technique  (Margaret Lewis)

art class

mastery class  (Mary Walters)

ear tuning

The cello specific classes were our very favorite!  The cello concert was a highlight!  Kate worked hard and learned so much.  We both felt lucky to be there!!!!!

stage fright

SMILE!  KATE, SOPHIE, SHARON + ELLIE

I was nervous for her, I always feel nervous when they step up in front to play a solo.  Kate had her recital last night.  We were talking on the way there.   Kate was unsure of a few formalities (introduction mainly).  I said, "I am sure you wont be first.  You can watch what the other kids are doing and follow their lead.  She relaxed a bit.  We sat close to the front and were handed the program.  First up...my sweet Kate.  Her eyes opened wide.  There would be no one going before her.  I verified what I had suspected...there will be a program...she didn't have to introduce herself or her piece.

As she sat in front of the audience and waited for the accompanist my nervousness faded completely away (she knew her song very well) and hers had just begun.  She started out perfectly and then looking around a bit, lost her place, and then got right back on track.  I was so happy with her effort.  It is scary playing in front of people you don't know...and distracting.  I am grateful my girls have accepted those opportunities, even when they aren't particularly happy about them.

After the recital we went out for frozen custard and took it to Sharon and Jason's (our fellow recital attendees)!  They told us all about their trip to Hawaii...and how they will take care of the girls so Danny and I can go....someday  :)  We tried to talk Kate into letting Sharon pull out her front tooth...it is nearly sideways!

When I tucked Kate into bed last night we were talking about her recital.  She was glad she played "but my hands were shaking!"  It is funny that Ellie's nervousness for performing hit this exact age too.   The advice we offered Kate--  take a deep breath (me) and look over everybody's head (Ellie).  Federation is next week...and just for back up, in case our advice doesn't cut it...Kate has decided to play her songs over and over a couple times a day-on top of her normal practice.  No matter what happens, she will be just fine.

something bigger than us....

Last night Kate played in her first concert.  She has only been playing cello for a few months, since May. The concert was an evening of cooperation and team work.  Each level of ability played their part.  Kate participated in Jingle Bells, Wintertime in Russia, Allegro, Twinklebell Canon in D (Pachelbel), and Clock Tower Bells.  In Jingle Bells she played the melody---but in the other pieces  she played a repetitive harmony, or a surprise strum, and in one just a loud stomp of her foot.  As I sat and enjoyed the beautiful sounds I was so grateful that she could have this experience and be a part of something that is bigger than she is.   SO GRATEFUL.

I believe it is true...we are so influenced by what is around us.  Our perspective of what is possible is altered by what we see others around us doing.  As Kate participated last night...her eyes were alert and continually watching.  She was mesmerized by the other performers.  She watched their expressions, their hands, and their music.  She was taking it all in.  I think we both could have stayed all night.  I wanted her to soak in the influence of so many who have worked so hard and who are striving for their best.

We have the same influence from our friends and neighbors.  What amazing examples we had around us this weekend.  Our little city experienced a big storm this week.  The winds were strong on Thursday.  Many houses and trees suffered great damage.  We were fortunate to have only lost some wreaths and window well coverings.  Trees and fences were most effected in our immediate neighborhood.  As we sat in church (Stake Conference) on Sunday morning we were excused a half an hour early and asked to go out and help our neighbors.  They announced that another storm was predicted to come in with snow and wind.  We needed to get all of the loose debris up and covered or taken to the land fill before the storm came in.  Danny got dressed and headed out with his chain saw.  They gathered at the houses that needed the most help.  Neighbors were helping neighbors all over the city---hauling, cutting, gathering, cleaning, and providing hot chocolate.  It was amazing.  As I think about my neighbors and watch their good works and the service they give to the community...I take it all in and feel inspired.  Again, I am left feeling grateful to be a small part of something bigger than us---and by our association with these neighbors we are better people for it.

a thankful weekend

it was the perfect amount of time with friends and time with family
the perfect balance of time out and time at home~

bake cookies with a house full of little girls

dinner to celebrate a friend's birthday

watch falling snow

a piano recital-
(beautiful performances Ellie, Abi, Sam & Bailey!!!!)

hung wreaths and garland on front windows and door

(i LOVE the fresh cedar garland and fresh wreaths at Costco!!!!!)

practice our Christmas songs 

lots of play-dates
i started this book

a football game
(phew...that was a close one!)
put the kids to bed and watched The Nun's Story by Audrey Hepburn

church

choir practice

pictures for Christmas cards-my fav. out-takes above
(i LOVE Christmas cards...making and sending them...but mostly receiving them throughout the season...
it's one of my favorite parts of the holidays.)

a movie with all of us piled on our bed- Pollyanna (perfect for Thanksgiving week)!)

(i cried...kind of a lot)

making dinner together

hot chocolate with whipped cream

I am thankful for weekends...especially this one.

For your listening pleasure:
Ellie playing March Militaire

"comparison is the thief of joy"

I love her "foot chart" made of a laminated manilla folder curling around her feet.  

She has been using it for a year now.

It is covered with stickers from different violin activities she has participated in.

A year ago---I anticipated a much different experience than the one she has actually had.

Sophie began violin with a group of 5 other beginning violinists.

They all started with the same footcharts---and "previolins" made from VHS tapes and a ruler.

She was able to move on to a real violin on her 4 year old birthday.

She was SOOOOO excited.

We go to group lesson once a month with the 5 other students.

At the beginning of the group lesson through out this year each of her fellow musicians have earned their twinkle trophy.

She watched each trophy presentation with excitement on her face.

She was truly happy for each recipient and has never even asked me where her trophy is.  

Not even once.

I really do love that about her.

She is content with what she is doing...and for the most part---is content with what others around her are doing.

I on the other hand have felt stress.

It has been so challenging for me to hold back...appreciate where she is and what she is doing...
(she is only four after all)

and to silence the pressure I feel for her to keep up.

It is so hard for me not to compare where the two of us are in violin...with what the group is doing.

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Theodore Roosevelt

Sophie has been learning her Twinkle Variations (5 different variations) over the past year.  

We play them over...and over...again.  She listens to them on her cd and practices them every day.

Some days she plays a few perfectly. 

Other days...hardly any...

and once she played every variation she tried with out a mistake!

The day that she did this she was trying to switch things up for fun.

She decided she would play with her eyes closed.

She stood right in front of me and squeezed her eyes shut.

She played every variation she knows without one single mistake each time she played it.

She has NEVER done that!
I was amazed.

Sometimes we need to close our eyes to everything around us and just play...

we need to silence the opinions of others,

the distractions of what our peers are doing...

and just to be.

Sophie has known that all along...but I am learning more from her than she is from me.

a violin recital

Sophie had her first recital.

She was not nervous in the least little bit.

She stood up as if no one else was in the room.

She loved every minute of it.

We love Mrs. Grover.

The patience she exhibits---

and the way she motivates them for learning inspires me!

(Just look at those four in the front...Ethan, Isaac, Sophie and Lucy...they are all is Sophie's group!)

what I wish for you~

I love fresh starts.  One of these is the beginning of a school year!  I have so many hopes and wishes for my daughters.  You are all three so different, yet so special in your own ways.  My wishes for you~

Ellie,

I am so proud of you.  I am amazed at your courage.  Your attitude regarding changing schools in third grade is remarkable to me.  You are excited about your new school and new opportunitites.  I am impressed with your sense of adventure and what it is good for you.

I wish for you a year filled with optimism.  I wish for you a desire to learn.  Your teachers are like a treasure box for you.  They are filled with knowledge-- keys to open up doors to your future.  Treat them respectfully.  Look them in the eye.  Speak confidently and always with a listening ear.  They will love you.  The gifts of knowledge they have for you will be treasures in your life.

I wish for you a desire to go beyond the minimum required and reach for more.  Always do your best and you will grow.

If there is ever a lonely day at your new school please remember our faces--- us (your family) and your sweet friends.  Remember that we wish we could be with you.  Remember how much we love you.  When you remember that your heart will feel happy.  A smile will come to your face...which is beautiful.  Keep your smile.

Kate,

You have a tender heart.  You see beauty all around you.  You love to celebrate and plan...plan parties :)  You are smart and have figured out more than I could have imagined for you in your short six years. 

I wish for you this school year~  opportunities for school to become a place for learning.  I hope that each day you learn something that you didn't know before.  As this happens, a spark will kindle- and you will crave the magic of learning.

I wish for you~ the wisdom (at your very young age) to seek friends that are optimistic, kind and friendly to all.  I wish for you to learn the joy of kindness.  Seeking out someone lonely; sharing a smile and kind words can be the very best part of your own day.  Choose the right and follow the rules for yourself--  but choose being kind over being right with your friends.

Remember, when you are away from home, how much you are loved.  Share the love in your sweet heart with others and you will always be happy.

Sophie,

The other day we were chatting.  It was just the two of us waiting in line at Cafe Rio.  We talked about the upcoming change.  Your sisters will be going to school all day.  Do you remember that last year??  It will be just the two of us all day.  You put your arms around my neck.  You were excited.  You always have a twinkle in your eye. 

You are blessed with such an independent spirit.  One of your first phrases was  "I do it my'sels'!"  It is a joy for me as you learn and grow in your independence. 

For more than a year you have told me that you were going to play voilin when you are four.  I am not sure where it came from.  You frequently pick out the voilin when you hear it in music.  You will be starting your lessons one month before your 4th birthday.  It would have never crossed my mind for you.  We have other instruments in our home.  Yet somehow it feels just right for you.  How did you know?

I wish for you~ joy.  You always find joy in simple and small things.  I wish that for you this year.  Find joy in trying new things.  You are so cute as you listen to your violin cd from your teacher.  You listen everyday---excited and glad for the opportunity. 

The joy you find in small things will help you in everything you do throughout your life.  You will never know how much joy you bring to me in my life.

I love you girls~

Mom

piano recital

"My name is Kate and I will be playing 'Big Black Cat' and 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'"

Kate had her first piano recital.  She was excited and brave.  She stood with confidence and introduced herself and the music pieces she would play!  We were really proud of her hard work and willingness to share what she is learning!  Yay Kate!

p.s.  How great is the yellow grand piano at the recital hall!?