a January afternoon at home

edge of sleep

"We can write down, and act upon, more of those accumulating resolutions for self improvement that we so often leave, unrecovered, at the edge of sleep."  -Neal A. Maxwell

There is so much that I want to do, learn, read, organize and experience.  Sunday I decided (for the 1,000,000 time) I was going to rise early this week (month....year) and begin my day.  I was motivated by books, goals and a desire for greater order in my life.  Yet, when my head hits the pillow at 12 or 1, instead of the 10 p.m. I had planned, I choose not to set the alarm.  Instead, I wake up with the sun...and my day begins.  I am studying the New Testament right now, and this message from Neal A. Maxwell was referenced (I love Citation Index from BYU).   So here it goes (the 1,000,001 time) I am setting my alarm tonight.   

lil' Finn

...a blessing straight from heaven...

our sweet nephew Finneus was born

on February 27th

 

space + sunshine

I woke up with a feeling of stress and worry.  I was feeling discouraged and unsure.  What will I do with my life...????  Should I return to school to earn a master's degree???  Should I return to my photography business???  How much will my family need me at home???  What decision would benefit us more????   I started verbalizing this internal dialogue to Danny the second his eyes opened in the morning light.  He was listening and interested---but ultimately his influence helped me let go and realize---

all of our needs are being met
there is nothing but good...hope...and opportunity in the future
instead of stress I should be focusing on the bounty before us...
                     time, resources, family...LOVE

As the morning progressed I began preparing for a gathering we would have in the canyon that evening.  I had promised my friend a salad with beets from my garden.  I asked Ellie and Kate if they would pick some for me.  They had been outside for a few minutes and I heard Kate calling me.  I walked out to see her holding two beets in the air...LOOK MOM!  THESE ARE FROM THE SAME GARDEN.

She was holding one whose diameter was similar to a pencil and another that was bigger than a baseball.  She showed me where the bigger beet came from...it was the sunny side.  We have a big pine tree hovering over one side of this patch of vegetables and the other side is open to the afternoon sun.  The sunnier side just happened to have better spacing as well.  The larger beet had more space and sunshine.

My daytime is beginning to change.  I have had at least one child home with me full-time for ten and a half years.   Our youngest is heading to kindergarten and I have been in a slight panic.  I am not worried that I will have nothing to do.......I have more interests than a 24 hour period could possibly hold....but what should I do?  As Kate held those beets in the air the calming influence I had felt earlier in the morning returned...

                    space + sunshine = growth
                    space + sunshine = growth
                    space + sunshine = growth

I will not close any doors to my future.  I will face each day with sunshine.  I will appreciate the space (time alone, time at home, happy in the space that is mine).  Whatever my future brings me I want to remember to look on the sunny-side of life.

enlarge her world

Sophie and I were both suffering from a bit of chill in the early afternoon.  I was craving a day at the beach-  sitting on warm sand listening to the ocean.  We decided to find the sunniest window in the house.  We grabbed her reading workbook and began.  It had been a week since we had picked this one up.  She was a bit rusty.   She was cold so she climbed on my lap and we made sure that we were in the most optimal spot for sun.  As she worked and read I saw a woman pass by outside our window on a walk.  She looked to be in her later 60s.  She had a big smile on her face as she advanced passed our house.  Initially I was a bit envious.  A brisk quiet walk on a sunny afternoon sounds like a treat to me.  Then as I listened to my little girl working...P A R K, D E E R, H U N T I N G, G I R L...I realized I was enjoying the highlight of my day at that very moment.  I also understood immediately that this time goes sooooooo fast and teaching my little girl how to read is really the biggest treat of all.

"There are many little ways to enlarge your child's world.  Love of books is the best of all."

Jacqueline Kennedy

Sophie is the biggest book lover in our house.  Every night, after she is tucked snugly in her bed, she climbs out and gathers piles and piles of books.  She turns on a little side light and quietly browses every page.  She sometimes reads them to the dolls or stuffed animals that have joined her on her bed.  It brings her so much joy.  I hope she holds a love of reading and books forever.

imaginations alive

"Mom, do you think dolls are real?" Sophie asked.
"What do you think?" I responded.
"Well..." she began in a bit of a ramble, "in the Little Princess Captain Crew gave his daughter Sara a doll and he told her that the doll would wake up at night and then they become still again before you wake up and that is what I think."

Sophie and I had this conversation on a cleaning day at our house.  My girls love their dolls...and Sophie more than any of them.  She has had this doll since before her first birthday.  It was always named "my baby when I was a baby."  A little while later she modified it, "Baby Sage, my baby when I was a baby" named after her sweet cousin Sage.

Now...about the cleaning day---a couple of months ago we moved all of the girl's toys in one room---a playroom.  We had an extra armoire and an extra tv with a dvd player.  It wasn't connected to cable...but the girls brought their movies in there.  Sophie had them running 24/7.  It was time to reorganize and de-clutter that room.  This week the girls and I consolidated, organized and cleaned out the closet, toy box and armoire.  They each have a small collection of American girl doll accessories and dolls.  I suggested that they remove the tv and fill that piece of furniture with their treasures.  They were reluctant at first but they sent the tv to storage in the basement and haven't missed it for one minute.  There has been a lot more imaginative play...and a lot more fun with their toys.  And the dolls have their own organized spot, which is important when they "wake up" each night.  :)  Maybe I should follow their example and take the tv out of my room.  CNN every night before bed might kill me off this election year!

truth = trust

Two of our girls were sick today so I decided they should stay home from church.  Ellie was well but I wasn't sure how to get her there when I was taking care of her sisters and Danny was already at meetings.  I didn't want to take her and leave her there without us.  So I turned to Ellie as we sat on the couch and asked, "Do you want to teach your sisters a primary (children's Sunday school) class?"  She jumped up and grabbed the Friend magazine.  After a few minutes she asked if they could do one of the activities she saw there---homemade pretzels.  "Of course."

She went straight to her room, gathering supplies for her lesson.  She asked the girls to be ready in a half an hour.  They got dressed---out of their pjs.  30 minutes later they were gathered in the dining room.  I stayed out of their way but remained in earshot.  Ellie taught them a lesson she found about honesty.  She read them a story about a boy who was being questioned about having started a fire.  His mom knew that he always told the truth.  She defended him to the authorities and they later found that the fire was started by other individuals.  She taught the girls, if you are truthful people trust you.  Kate and Sophie listened so intently and quietly.  Then she asked them different questions.  As they answered she would pull a prize (bookmarks, etc...) out of a bag that she had brought from her room.  I smiled.  Then she gathered them in the kitchen to make CTR pretzels.  They made them all by themselves (with the exception of taking them out of the oven).

It is amazing what abilities children have, that I often don't give them opportunities to express.  I am also grateful for so many fine example of leadership my girls have learned from school, church, friends, music teachers and extra-curricular activities.  I feel so grateful that we are surrounded by so many wonderful people.

As Ellie taught words of truth to her sisters today my trust in her---and their trust in her became that much stronger.  Thank you for what you taught me today Ellie, I love you.

did you do a "once-over"

Last night we gathered on the couch for family home evening.  I read the girls one of my favorite scriptures.  Danny and I like it so much...it was the first scripture we had framed in our home just after we were married.

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;"  D&C 88:119

We talked a little bit about what that teaches us about God (organize, prepare, prayer, faith, learning, order, etc...)  Then we pulled up a picture on Danny's laptop after googling the word "hoarding."  I asked the girls how it would feel being in the room they were looking at.  Respectfully...I asked them to share what they might be able to do or say to change that situation.  They were full of great advice.

Next I complimented Ellie.  She moved to her own room at the end of the summer.  She has done a WONDERFUL job of keeping it orderly and organized.  I have been really surprised and happy at the effort she has put forth in caring for her things.  I commended her.  She was beaming.  I asked her to share her organizational secrets with us.  She was happy to do it.

Although Ellie has kept her room clean...none of them, including Ellie, have been very good at keeping common areas; like bathrooms, family rooms, the kitchen and the playroom tidy.  They leave their backpacks and shoes on the floor when they get home from school.  Their music is left out after practice.  Clothes are often left on the bathroom floor.  And the playroom---oh my word!

SO we set up a plan!  A once-over!  Before you leave a room...give it a once-over.  (I know this is basic...right?  Why have I not been teaching this all along?)   In the morning before you leave your room...glance over your shoulder...
is my bed made?
is anything on the floor?
out of place?

Before you climb in bed...a once-over...
Before you get out a new toy...or leave the playroom...or leave the dinner table...or leave the bathroom....a once-over....

I am not the worst cleaner...and I am surely not the best.  (Do you see that playroom mess?)
My biggest problem- I spend more energy worrying about keeping the house clean...than actually cleaning it!  We have been straightening each room before we leave it the last two days....and it has been WONDERFUL!  I think the girls like the new phrase and feel like it is a more manageable task than "go clean your room."  Last night after scriptures and reading...we did a quick "once-over" in the family room and it took two minutes MAX!  Woohoo!  It will require some friendly reminding and diligence on my part to secure this as a good habit...I think we are up for the challenge!

I bought them...does that count?
Where has the summer gone!?
The workbooks have been cracked open a few times...

But that apparently wasn't enough---

my girls have forgotten all of their math skills!

Ellie spent one hour on one page....

what will homework be like when school starts!?!?!?

bloom

The pot is a beautiful turquoise...with a chalkboard spot with the word "bloom"

the blossoms are scattered, random and perfect.

Friends that give beautiful pots of flowers inspire me to be a better friend~

thank you M and B...

you made my day!

violin in your hands

Dear Sophie,

You were two years old, riding in the back of the car.  Your sisters were asking you what instrument you wanted to learn.  Your immediate answer was, "I'm going to play the violin when I am four."  I was surprised to hear you say that.  The only exposure you had of the violin was on Little Einsteins.  I thought you would surely out grow that idea and stick to an instrument we have at the house (piano or guitar).  Well, you didn't.  You said it anytime instruments were brought up.  You mentioned it to friends---as one of your topics to strike up a conversation with bigger kids in our car.

I have to admit...I wasn't terribly excited about it.  Violin played well is BEAUTIFUL...but I had heard enough bad violin...I assumed that good violin wouldn't come from your violin very quickly. :)  I finally asked a friend who was really familiar with violin.  She recommended a wonderful teacher...and here we are---playing violin.

I didn't know that my learning to play with you was part of the Suzuki method.  You know what?  I really enjoy it.  I love playing with you.  I love going to your private and group lessons.  I love it when you want to play without being asked.  You had friends over this week---and you got out your violin to play for them...it brought a big smile to my face.  I love it when you want to practice.  You learned your very first song last week "the monkey song."  After you learned something that had been hard for you...you earned a reward (Squinky).  You danced around the house and shouted with glee (@ the top of your lungs) "This is the best day ever!!!!!!!!"

This hasn't been easy, but anything worthwhile rarely is.  That is one of my favorite things about learning to play an instrument.  It teaches you over and over again that you can do hard things...and when you work hard at them...they become easy things.  Thank you for being on this journey with me.

I love you~
Mom

sick day

a day filled with books, naps, and sunshine pouring through the window~

she has a fever and is laying low.

with the biting cold air outside---

it was a nice day to stay in.

Sunday on the couch

You sat down and talked.

I was on the couch reading The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck.

You said, "The book I am reading made me cry.  Charlie cried too."

You have been reading "Meet Addy."  

It is a book from the American Girl series.

It came in a set with a doll.  

I love that you chose Addy out of all of the other historical dolls that were available that day.

She is an African American character fighting for freedom with her family to escape slavery.

You talked and talked and talked,

sharing every detail you remembered of what you have read so far.

You love the book~

and I love that you care, that you were reading to Charlie, that you cried and that you shared it with me.

her majesty

There is a rule that we have in our house...

that Danny and I are able enforce as well as any other rule (not very well).

we only eat in the kitchen...or dining room

I walked down the hall to help Sophie get ready for the day,

I had just heard her stirring.

There she was.

In bed.

With a bowl of oatmeal and a spoon in her hand.

Kate came up quickly.

"Mom, she was really hungry and didn't want to leave her bed for breakfast."

she said in an empathetic and compassionate voice.

What a sweet sister...spoiling lil' Sophie.

They are all so lucky to have each other. 

7 staples, a big bandage and a bag of Starburst

Danny was working late and the girls and I were working pretty efficiently.  We were fed and the kitchen was clean.  All three girls were in their pajamas.  Their teeth were even brushed!  It was almost time for reading on the couch and the girls ran quickly downstairs to get a few more minutes of play and dancing in the basement. 

I hollered down asking if they were about ready to read.  I don't remember what they said.  Minutes later I heard a loud cry.  That is not really uncommon around here, so I wasn't alarmed.  Kate and Ellie came running up calling for me.  Sophie was right behind them with blood in her hands and running down her back.  I picked her up and took her to the sink.  I realized quickly it was coming from the back of her head.  I applied pressure with a towel and Ellie called Danny.  He was on his way.  After a few minutes the bleeding stopped and I started to clean out her hair trying to find the cause of the bleeding.  There it was.  A gash.

"I was jiggling on the thing." was all of the information I could get from Sophie.  Kate filled me in.  Sophie was dancing on top of a large package of paper towels from Costco.  She lost her balance and hit her head on the stone hearth in the basement.  We called Uncle/Doctor Jimmy for advice.  Where should we take her...instacare? emergency room? Primary children's hospital?  He told us to bring her to him.  He had everything he would need at home.

On our way we decided to turn on a movie to keep Sophie awake.  She chose "Little Mermaid."  As we were driving Sophie asked her sisters if Ariel was the oldest sister.  Ellie responded, "No Sophie.  She is the youngest and the 'specialest'."  She continued, "If Dad and Mom were king and queen you would be the 'specialest' princess too."  Kate added, "You are the 'specialest' to me Sophie."  They were so sweet and so worried.

Uncle Jimmy saved the day...7 staples later (yes, staples.), a big bandage, and a bag of Starburst (thanks Michel) later and she is almost as good as new.   I am not sure I will ever be the same.  It is so scary to have your children hurt.  It is amazing how any little worry I held throughout the week vanished---and all I wanted to do was hold her tight.

what I wish for you~

I love fresh starts.  One of these is the beginning of a school year!  I have so many hopes and wishes for my daughters.  You are all three so different, yet so special in your own ways.  My wishes for you~

Ellie,

I am so proud of you.  I am amazed at your courage.  Your attitude regarding changing schools in third grade is remarkable to me.  You are excited about your new school and new opportunitites.  I am impressed with your sense of adventure and what it is good for you.

I wish for you a year filled with optimism.  I wish for you a desire to learn.  Your teachers are like a treasure box for you.  They are filled with knowledge-- keys to open up doors to your future.  Treat them respectfully.  Look them in the eye.  Speak confidently and always with a listening ear.  They will love you.  The gifts of knowledge they have for you will be treasures in your life.

I wish for you a desire to go beyond the minimum required and reach for more.  Always do your best and you will grow.

If there is ever a lonely day at your new school please remember our faces--- us (your family) and your sweet friends.  Remember that we wish we could be with you.  Remember how much we love you.  When you remember that your heart will feel happy.  A smile will come to your face...which is beautiful.  Keep your smile.

Kate,

You have a tender heart.  You see beauty all around you.  You love to celebrate and plan...plan parties :)  You are smart and have figured out more than I could have imagined for you in your short six years. 

I wish for you this school year~  opportunities for school to become a place for learning.  I hope that each day you learn something that you didn't know before.  As this happens, a spark will kindle- and you will crave the magic of learning.

I wish for you~ the wisdom (at your very young age) to seek friends that are optimistic, kind and friendly to all.  I wish for you to learn the joy of kindness.  Seeking out someone lonely; sharing a smile and kind words can be the very best part of your own day.  Choose the right and follow the rules for yourself--  but choose being kind over being right with your friends.

Remember, when you are away from home, how much you are loved.  Share the love in your sweet heart with others and you will always be happy.

Sophie,

The other day we were chatting.  It was just the two of us waiting in line at Cafe Rio.  We talked about the upcoming change.  Your sisters will be going to school all day.  Do you remember that last year??  It will be just the two of us all day.  You put your arms around my neck.  You were excited.  You always have a twinkle in your eye. 

You are blessed with such an independent spirit.  One of your first phrases was  "I do it my'sels'!"  It is a joy for me as you learn and grow in your independence. 

For more than a year you have told me that you were going to play voilin when you are four.  I am not sure where it came from.  You frequently pick out the voilin when you hear it in music.  You will be starting your lessons one month before your 4th birthday.  It would have never crossed my mind for you.  We have other instruments in our home.  Yet somehow it feels just right for you.  How did you know?

I wish for you~ joy.  You always find joy in simple and small things.  I wish that for you this year.  Find joy in trying new things.  You are so cute as you listen to your violin cd from your teacher.  You listen everyday---excited and glad for the opportunity. 

The joy you find in small things will help you in everything you do throughout your life.  You will never know how much joy you bring to me in my life.

I love you girls~

Mom

bare bookshelves....

As we drove passed a bookstore one day, Kate shouted..."Look...the library!!!!!!!"

She did think the bookstore was the library.

I LOVE buying books.  I LOVE filling our bookshelves!

We have been remodeling this summer and our large bookcase had to be moved and ALL of our books packed.  They have reading on all of their checklists...with no books available to read.  It took a few days and then finally dawned on me...the library!!!!!!

My girls were in heaven.  Ellie and Kate received their own cards.  They all gathered up books with enthusiasm.  They loved choosing anything they saw that interested them.  It was SO MUCH FUN!!!  We will be going back regularly!!!

peony

I had just been outside admiring a beautiful bloom that had just blossomed in the front yard.  A few minutes later Kate came in beaming with the beautiful flower in hand.  It has been the same every year--- she loves flowers so much, she can't resist picking them.  At least they are almost always for me :)

1.2.3. STARING GAME!

Her favorite game...and my favorite game to play with her...

especially when she blinks and says, "I loseded!"