Thursday, August 30, 2012

space + sunshine

I woke up with a feeling of stress and worry.  I was feeling discouraged and unsure.  What will I do with my life...????  Should I return to school to earn a master's degree???  Should I return to my photography business???  How much will my family need me at home???  What decision would benefit us more????   I started verbalizing this internal dialogue to Danny the second his eyes opened in the morning light.  He was listening and interested---but ultimately his influence helped me let go and realize---

all of our needs are being met
there is nothing but good...hope...and opportunity in the future
instead of stress I should be focusing on the bounty before us...
                     time, resources, family...LOVE

As the morning progressed I began preparing for a gathering we would have in the canyon that evening.  I had promised my friend a salad with beets from my garden.  I asked Ellie and Kate if they would pick some for me.  They had been outside for a few minutes and I heard Kate calling me.  I walked out to see her holding two beets in the air...LOOK MOM!  THESE ARE FROM THE SAME GARDEN.

She was holding one whose diameter was similar to a pencil and another that was bigger than a baseball.  She showed me where the bigger beet came was the sunny side.  We have a big pine tree hovering over one side of this patch of vegetables and the other side is open to the afternoon sun.  The sunnier side just happened to have better spacing as well.  The larger beet had more space and sunshine.

My daytime is beginning to change.  I have had at least one child home with me full-time for ten and a half years.   Our youngest is heading to kindergarten and I have been in a slight panic.  I am not worried that I will have nothing to do.......I have more interests than a 24 hour period could possibly hold....but what should I do?  As Kate held those beets in the air the calming influence I had felt earlier in the morning returned...

                    space + sunshine = growth
                    space + sunshine = growth
                    space + sunshine = growth

I will not close any doors to my future.  I will face each day with sunshine.  I will appreciate the space (time alone, time at home, happy in the space that is mine).  Whatever my future brings me I want to remember to look on the sunny-side of life.

Friday, August 24, 2012

10 days of summer

We have 10 more days before school starts...
I felt a bit sad today...

I wasn't sad that my girls are going to school---
(they can't wait...and a little alone time wont hurt me either)
I just can't believe the summer is over,
and I am left wishing I had spent it differently.

There weren't enough hikes.
(We had hoped to complete at least one a month.)
There weren't enough bike rides, movies in the back yard, or walks in the evening.
There wasn't enough homemade ice cream, game nights and home cooked meals.

If I could do it over again...
our "to-do" lists would be shorter
and the only school work we would have done would be
reading great books (the girls did do this!) and journal writing.
We should have had more art time and less math.
I should have recycled every work book in my house.

We had wonderful reunions with friends we hadn't seen in a long time...
We enjoyed wonderful days poolside!
We played tennis in flip-flops!
I should have worried less about what the inside of the house looked like--
and spent all day in the backyard!

We have 10 days left...
I can't wait to see what memories we can make in these last few days of summer!

Tonight---we went on a long walk~

Thursday, August 2, 2012

a little gift

Coming home from a walk a few weeks ago we found a gift for Kate on the doorstep.  There was a plate of cookies (snicker-doodles) and six small plants of red sedum creeper.  Sitting with this gift was a card.  The girls and I gathered on the porch...they ate snicker-doodles while I read the card aloud.

Dear Kate,

How exciting to be become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and receive the Holy Ghost.  Even though your baptism + confirmation only took a short time your life will be changed forever.  You have actually been working up to these steps for 8 years, walking + following your parent's example and the example of the Savior.  I'm pleased to know you and to watch you make this most important step in your life so far.

Now...I have given you a little gift- it is kind of a strange gift for an 8 year old but it is something I love.  It is a plant that you can plant anywhere in your garden that you have room for ground cover.  This is why I love this plant---It is like a testimony.

1.  It is easy to grow.  It doesn't need tons of sun or tons of water.  It just needs a little of both once it is planted.  Sun (prayer), water (scriptures)
2.  It changes throughout the spring + summer + into the fall.  Sometimes it grows little flowers + then in the fall it changes colors.  Just like our lives we will experience things that will add to our testimony- make it more beautiful, bigger + colorful
3.  It is reliable.  It comes back EVERY year as long as it has had some water + some sun in the summer.  Each year it will get stronger + bigger.  You might even need to divide it + spread it to another area in the garden.

I also made you some snickerdoodles.  First of all because your mother said they were one of your favorites.  The other reason is because I think you are sometimes a little snickerdoodle---cute, fun, giggly + sweet with a touch of cinnamon in your hair.  

May Heavenly Father bless you in this new part of your journey.
Love to you,

After I finished reading Ellie responded "that is the best card we have ever read."  They loved the analogies made...and the cookies were delicious.  I loved the thoughtfulness and time a dear friend took to touch the heart of my daughter.