Wednesday, October 28, 2015

not looking for applause

"If your intentions are to impress people or to get the big applause at the end then you are taking, not giving." -Teitur 
(found here)

To remember to share myself with the intent to give, letting go of what I will receive...that is true magic.  I have been a guitar student off and on (much more off that on unfortunately) for almost 20 years.  When I watched this TedTalk yesterday, my mind went, although this is true for almost any aspect of learning and interest, straight to guitar performances.  I only performed for my family, teachers and recitals.  I immediately felt a difference when other people were in the room (especially teachers and recitals).  My fingers fumbled, my voice weakened and quivered.  That was a large reason that I gave up learning with a teacher.  How limiting to allow a misguided motive change the direction of an opportunity to grow. 

Yesterday in Ellie's guitar lesson I saw the same struggle in her, although to a lesser degree.  I decided that I would make a better effort to play with her as she practices.  We had our first session yesterday. I held her back in a few ways, but in more important ways, we kept each other with a focus of sharing and giving.  Our minds didn't go near any intention to impress.  There was joy in learning for me, and truly if I can focus on a motive to give in all aspects of my life- the work in practice will be so much sweeter.

Friday, October 9, 2015

she still asks me to do her hair

She still asks me to do her hair in the morning and frequently seeks my advice on what she should wear.  She grabs my hand when we walk and tells me a play by play everyday of her time at school.  She leaves a bit of chaos in any room she enters.  Something tells me when she is grown that I will miss that chaos as much as that daily play by play.